It's Not For Me

My girlfriend had a baby three weeks ago and every day since then I've been dispatched to the shops to buy various things she discovered she needed.  I've bought, to name but a few, tampons, maternity pads, breast pads, nipple shields, nipple cream, nappies, gripe water, and baby wipes.  Certain aisles of Boots which I previously would have been horrified to find myself standing in have become almost like my second home.

Womenkind's Unacceptable Ignorance About Star Wars

"Turn the volume up.  I can't understand anything when that little one comes on."

"That's Yoda!"

"Yeah him.  I can't understand what he's on about."

"That's because he talks funny.  Everyone knows that!"

"What do you mean?"

"He says everything in a sort of backwards way."

"What?  Why?"
"I don't know.  Because he's Yoda."

 "Well I can't understand what's going on.  Put the subtitles on."